The Time the Spirits were Left Alone
by CityBS
Summary: When everybody goes to a Duel Monsters conference and decide to leave Yami, Marik and Bakura behind, what madness and evil appliances await them? PG13 for mild language and suggestive comments.
1. Chapter One

**The Time the Spirits Were Left Alone**

Warnings: male/male situations, but not a lemon.  Violence, evil appliances and much insanity.  (YY/Y, YM/S/M, B/R)

"DAMN this infernal device of torture!!!"

Hearing a scream of rage from the kitchen, Yami looked up from his comfortable spot on the couch were he had been reading.  The darker halves of Ryou, Yugi, and Malik had been permitted to make their homes at Kaiba's estate while their hikari's and Seto himself were off at a duel monsters conference.

Of course, the spirits had wanted to attend… but they had been flatly refused on the grounds that Yami would undoubtedly get into a spat with Marik or Bakura, Marik liked to mess with the minds of innocents, and that Bakura liked to make things suffer waaaay too much not to be threats at such an event, especially since it involved Duel Monsters.

Marik poked his head into the room from the hallway with a perked eyebrow.  "What was that, Pharaoh?" the tanned Egyptian inquired, stepping all the way into the room.

Yami put down his book on ancient Egypt, which was, by the way, mostly inaccurate… and glanced to the kitchen. "It sounded like Bakura," he muttered, standing up and going over to the door to investigate with Marik trailing along behind him, not having anything better to do.  When Yami stopped at the door and just stared, Marik raised his other eyebrow and looked into the kitchen before a huge grin split across his face.

Bakura was fighting.  With a toaster.

The white-haired spirit had the machine up on the kitchen table, and he had his foot pressed up against the side of the appliance for support as he tried to yank what appeared to be a charred and mutilated spatula out of one of the slots for toast, cursing at the thing in both ancient Egyptian and in a mix of Japanese and English.

Yami would have laughed too if it wasn't so pathetic.

The spirit of the ring, not noticing the other two, grabbed a cleaver from the counter and started trying to chop the toaster to pieces, but succeeded only in getting a nasty cut on his wrist when the blade slipped on the metal.

Bakura let out a howl and then yanked the millennium ring off of his head and started beating the toaster with it, laughing maniacally the entire time.  Yami started to move forward, but was pulled back by Marik, who was obviously enjoying the show that Bakura was unknowingly providing.

"That's IT, you piece of crap!"

With that, Bakura seemed to concentrate for a moment.  Then the toaster disappeared in a puff of black and purple smoke, much to Yami's dismay.  "TAKE THAT!"

Marik couldn't hold it in any more.  He burst out laughing and nearly fell over.  In fact, he would have, if Yami hadn't been there to hold him up.  "You…. Hahaha… you… sent a TOASTER…. to the Shadow Realms!"

Bakura whirled around and saw the other spirits in the doorway.  "Er, it was plotting against Yugi," he said, trying to come up with an excuse as he blushed in embarrassment.  Yami perked a brow, hiding a smirk. "Really, Bakura?"

The white-haired darker half of Ryou nodded.

"And I suppose the intercom, the lava lamp, and the microwave were conspiring against the world," Marik said with a grin.

Bakura flushed darker and muttered something nasty under his breath about the platinum blond Egyptian.  "And I suppose your little argument with the toilet was over Malik or Kaiba, was it?" the tomb robber hissed back, smirking.

Now it was Marik's turn to blush.  "How did you…?"

"Security cameras."

"You're watching me in the shower?!"

"Well, I need to watch SOMETHING when Ryou's not around…"

As the two other spirits kept bantering, the Pharaoh was silently relieved that neither of them had brought up his own incident from the other day.  He had tried to turn on Kaiba's plasma television, and had ended up sending both it and the remote control to the Shadow Realm.  Perhaps they hadn't found out about it yet… hopefully, it would stay that way.

Turning his attention back to the very amusing fight at hand, Yami looked just in time to see the millennium rod and ring brandished.  Holding back a curse, he quickly smacked at the hands that held the powerful items, scowling. "Not in Kaiba's mansion, remember?!"

Still red and glaring at Bakura, Marik stomped off, probably to his rooms.  Bakura smirked and slipped the ring back over his head and neck, letting it fall onto his chest.

"By the way, Yami, you owe me."

"What?  Why?"

"Because I haven't shown Marik my little home video of you with his dear Seto's precious television set."

___

AN: I know, I know, it screams for continuation.  Originally intended as a stand-alone.  Bah.  Well, if you guys like it enough to review it, I'll continue it.  If not, then just enjoy the reading. J


	2. Chapter Two

The Time the Spirits Were Left Alone - Chapter Two (Well, you guys asked for it...)  
  
Warnings: See previous chapter! Just a recap of the couples, though - (YY/Y, YM/S/M, B/R) Oh yeah, Bakura bashes Tea. Mwahaa.  
  
SHAMELESS PROMOTION: My new website is at www.angelfire.com/ego2/citybs. It will always be updated before ff.net is.  
  
//-Yami's mind link  
  
== - Bakura's mind link  
  
~~ - Marik's mind link  
  
  
  
Marik was feeling lonely. He sulked about in his luxurious rooms, that happened to be located right next to Seto's, and eventually decided that he wanted to go talk to Seto's underground computer. She was nice.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Yami and Bakura were cuddled up on a couch in the dark with pillows behind them, wrapped in blankets and stuffing their faces with microwave popcorn. They were both staring at the TV screen (not the one that Yami had, er, 'issues' with), which was playing... Titanic.  
  
"I'll never let go, Jack!"  
  
"Stupid, clingy bitch! You sound like that Tea girl! He doesn't love you! He was just horny!" Bakura yelled, throwing a kernel of popcorn at the screen. Yami twitched slightly but ignored the other spirit... he'd gotten used to this over the last few hours.  
  
Just as the movie was about to end, there was the massive sound of an explosion from somewhere underneath Kaiba's mansion. Startled, Bakura fell off the side of the couch and onto his head, and Yami nearly hit the ceiling.  
  
  
  
Down in his boyfriend's hidden computer room, a slightly scorched Marik coughed and winced. He thanked Ra that the millennium rod had protected him, but he was still spooked enough to check to make sure all of his limbs were present and accounted for.  
  
Satisfied, he looked up at the seared and charred mass of metal that had once been Seto's pride and joy.  
  
"Oops."  
  
___  
  
  
  
Seto sat up in bed with a start, panting loudly. He ran a hand through his hair to calm himself down. Where was he...? Oh yes, the hotel room. Next to him, Malik's head popped out from under a pillow, the small Egyptian's face sporting a scowl.  
  
"Not only do you snore, but you also wake up randomly. I don't know how Marik deals with you all the time," Malik muttered, poking Kaiba in the ribs. The CEO gave Malik a half-hearted glare. "I do not snore. And I just had a bad dream."  
  
"Oh? What about?"  
  
"My computer being blown up."  
  
"Ouch," Malik admitted. "That would suck. But I'm sure your computer's fine, Seto. You changed the security, right?"  
  
Kaiba nodded and pulled the covers back up, rolling towards the edge of the bed with every intention of going back to sleep. "Yes, I suppose you're right." Then it hit him. He hadn't changed the palm password. His technologically-challenged boyfriend could still get into his underground computers!  
  
"CRAP!"  
  
___  
  
  
  
Yami and Bakura just stared, completely speechless. Marik chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "It was an accident..."  
  
The formerly exquisite and tasteful dining hall of the Kaiba mansion was now in shambles. Parts of it were still smoking. Bakura's mouth kept opening and closing like that of a fish, and Yami was just plain thunderstruck. They had all sat down for dinner (SpaghettiO's and some burned rice, courtesy of Yami's culinary skills), and Marik had decided to show off and use the millennium rod to levitate the bowls over to him.  
  
Unfortunately, the spirit had also had a bit to drink after that whole escapade of his with Kaiba's computer, and he had overestimated the amount of power needed to move a simple bowl.  
  
Instead, he had practically moved the entire room.  
  
Candles had gone flying, knives and forks thudded into walls and furniture, the chandelier had snapped off and crashed onto the table right on top of the bowls, which had shattered and sprayed their contents everywhere. Thanks to the airborne candles, several priceless tapestries had been set aflame, and so had the tablecloth.  
  
The fires had been the first goals of the spirits, and they were quickly extinguished... but not before ruining everything that had been touched by the miniature inferno. Now the spirits just stood in different areas of the wrecked room, spattered with tomato sauce and rice and all a little singed.  
  
"You idiot!" Bakura finally managed to croak. "Kaiba's going to kill us when he sees this!"  
  
Marik thought about that for a moment. "No, Seto will kill you. He'll just beat me up a little. He likes me too much to kill me," the Egyptian said, very satisfied with his assessment of the future. Yami wiped a SpaghettiO off of his nose, the corner of his eye twitching with rage. Glancing at the tomb robber, he sent a private telepathic message.  
  
/We grab him in five seconds. Got it?/  
  
=I was beginning to think you'd never ask, Pharaoh.=  
  
The blond Egyptian eyed them cautiously, becoming wary after their moments of silence and at the diabolical glares that were leveled on him. He turned to run off into the recesses of the gigantic Kaiba mansion...  
  
  
  
(Seto, City, Bob, Yami, and Joey are our readers for today... be afraid. Be very afraid.)  
  
City: What will happen next?!  
  
Seto: *sob*  
  
City: Oh, by the way, my muse is back on the job. Say hello to Bob!  
  
Bob (the evil black talking cat): Hi.  
  
City: Anyway, on to the reviewers' corner.  
  
*a few letters drop onto a table that appears under them*  
  
Seto: Only four? Then why are you continuing this crap?!  
  
City: I was bored and I felt like it, and I couldn't churn out another chapter to Turning the Tables because I was on a sugar high, and that would have injured the depressing plot line.  
  
Seto: *didn't expect an answer* ...Oh.  
  
Joey: *grabs first review, excited* Well, lessee...  
  
Yami: *snatches it out of his hand*  
  
Joey: *pouts*  
  
Yami: Well, you can't take us to the Shadow Realm!  
  
Joey: *sulks*  
  
Yami: *hauls everyone off to the Shadow Realm with the reviewers*  
  
Kashu- *rotflmao*  
  
Kage- *blinks* What the...?  
  
Kashu- *howls*  
  
Kage- *jumps*  
  
Kashu- Poor toaster... Whatever did it do wrong? Heheheh... (Although, I have wished to be able to send things to the shadow realm... the yamis... I actually feel sorry for them... What with Kaiba having the highest technology at his house'n all...)  
  
Seto: No, feel sorry for me, dammit! It's my house they're wrecking! *scowls*  
  
Bob: *sweatdrops* *bats at Seto's leg* Maybe they think you're too moody.  
  
Seto: Get away from me, cat! *kicks*  
  
Bob: REOOOOW! *flies into Joey's face*  
  
Joey: *runs around trying to dislodge Bob from his face*  
  
Karasu8: *laughs so hard she's crying* (All you can understand is 'Yami, Bakura, TV, toaster'!) *calms herself* I loved it.  
  
Yami: *mutters darkly* That TV was evil, I tell you...  
  
Twin Katz: MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE  
  
PLEASE?  
  
City: ....kay? o_O  
  
Missy and Mikara: OMFG! I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!! -holds her ass in her hand- SERIOUSLY! PLEASE, keep going!!  
  
Joey: *finally gets Bob unattached from his face* So dat's why I never liked cats....  
  
Seto: *points and laughs* Ha ha, Wheeler, your face looks like it's been put through a blender.  
  
Joey: Why I oughta... *attacks*  
  
City: Okay, that's enough of that... I'll continue... eventually. Reviews help my confidence. *nudges you* 


End file.
